My heart is sinking.
I do not know why or rather I don't want to know why.
Is it is because of my own burdens or just jealousy- dunno?
Wit is - it is strong. I decided not to go to office. Did not want to go out when I'm feeling so vulnerable, so very child like. And hence for once my need to protect myself took over. I jkust had this fleeting feeling for a moment - no, I'm feeling weak and immediately a part of me took the decision - stay at home, gather strength.
The past few days have been tough. The information that is coming to me is not plesant and I'm surprised - it get's its lessons that I do not mind but at times - like today, I'm completely drained of my energy resources.
The only - only solution I know of now is - Meditate.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Patience
I need patience and that too faaasssttt...!!!
It is difficult not to get angry when people act smart or rather take you to be dumb and available.
I'm not sure if it is correct to keep a straight face and then walk away or to simply disarm then by exposing them - then and there.
Worse is when I realise that I have done the same things and some one else had to put up with me then. Obviously, they didn't make it any easier for me. but but but.....precisely the reason why I should be patient enough.
OK, I have been patient enough and I have seen through what is being done. Now, should I let them get away with it or simply walk away?
I think I'm going to walk away. Don't want to walked over.
It is difficult not to get angry when people act smart or rather take you to be dumb and available.
I'm not sure if it is correct to keep a straight face and then walk away or to simply disarm then by exposing them - then and there.
Worse is when I realise that I have done the same things and some one else had to put up with me then. Obviously, they didn't make it any easier for me. but but but.....precisely the reason why I should be patient enough.
OK, I have been patient enough and I have seen through what is being done. Now, should I let them get away with it or simply walk away?
I think I'm going to walk away. Don't want to walked over.
Saturday, February 3, 2007
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Dedication
Tomorrow is full moon. The moon is full during 5:45am london time. :-)
My mother used to fast though we are sikh and really not bound by fasting and similar traditions. Then during the evenings she would go upstairs reciting bani. This were private moments for her. As a child I never realised. At times I would go with her, playing or generally looking around till she nods me to join her. I don't exactly recollect but I gather she used to take water and sugar with her. And so she would offer the same, even I would get a chance to offer and then the rest was mine :-)). Having a sweet tooth made this like treat with a ritual. She would then proceed to have her first light meal of the day.
It is now I realise that it must be so demanding for her. She used to teach, then come back and take care of family - all on a few cups of tea.
I can't fast but tomorrow morning I shall pray as she used too and for her :-)
It is late but I love you mom and I miss you very much in my life.
refer to http://stars.metawire.com [daily planets]. This is general info - one site I like to check out.
My mother used to fast though we are sikh and really not bound by fasting and similar traditions. Then during the evenings she would go upstairs reciting bani. This were private moments for her. As a child I never realised. At times I would go with her, playing or generally looking around till she nods me to join her. I don't exactly recollect but I gather she used to take water and sugar with her. And so she would offer the same, even I would get a chance to offer and then the rest was mine :-)). Having a sweet tooth made this like treat with a ritual. She would then proceed to have her first light meal of the day.
It is now I realise that it must be so demanding for her. She used to teach, then come back and take care of family - all on a few cups of tea.
I can't fast but tomorrow morning I shall pray as she used too and for her :-)
It is late but I love you mom and I miss you very much in my life.
refer to http://stars.metawire.com [daily planets]. This is general info - one site I like to check out.
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